The Pro Bowl has officially become a two-handed touch football game

I’ll be honest, I haven’t given a second thought to the Pro Bowl since Evan Engram did it last year. As far as I know, Michael Irvin and Jerry Rice always choose teams between a 5 minute laugh soliloquy. But I’ve seen these videos pop up on my timeline and I’m rightfully wondering if they changed the rules to a two-handed touch to skew the year-end player safety numbers for Goodell or some shit. I won’t do any research or watch the game to find out the answer. But I’m going to blog it, even though it seems no one even wanted to lay two hands of violence on Darius Leonard during this piece.

This is the part where most people would demand the Pro Bowl be changed for the honor of the game or some other brutal take. But let’s be honest, that’s not going to happen. We will continue to have a smoother game year after year as players enjoy paid vacations with their bonuses followed by 1000 thoughts on how to fix the Pro Bowl followed by stats like these.

That’s why you should get used to seeing special teams play like this:

Instead of Sean Taylor hitting Brian Mulan so hard he became a response by Team Mick Team Coley in The Dozen All-Star Game:

See you here in two weeks for the How To Save The NBA Dunk Contest blog or, if we’re lucky, How That Dunk Contest Saved The NBA Dunk Contest Blog!

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PS If The Rock really wants to make the XFL the most electrifying league in sports-entertainment today, he’ll turn their All-Star Game into a Kill The Carrier game to show how the X in XFL stands for XXXXXXXXXtreeeeeeeeme!

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